Everything is in English.

I'm in North America.

I'm processing a lot.

I'll be home in less than a week.

Everything is in English here.

T Minues Two

48 more hours… Two more days. We’ve had our last English class. We’ve had our last night with the youth. We have one more church service.Tonight with the youth we got to celebrate: celebrate our time in Peru and the wonderful friends whom we have made. We sang, heard Jano speak, Lisa and I got to thank everyone for playing an amazing role in our lives, and then the pastoral staff called us all up and handed us each a bag to open. Inside we found a t-shirt that had our photo, a map of Peru and the words “Kutimnukichu?”. In that moment, I lost it… I started crying. But I had the opportunity to pray with some of my friends whom I’ve gotten to share life with over these past three and a half months. We celebrated, ate cake, watched soccer, and took pictures.

I have so many emotions going through my head and my heart, I’m not certain how to decipher them. I’m overwhelmed by the love and the warmth that we’ve been showed. We were all surprised that people brought us small gifts. I know I was surprised how many people showed p for our last night of youth. I don’t think that God ever ceases to surprise us with joyful things. When it was my turn to thank everyone I read Romans 1:8-13. It’s Paul’s prayer for the Romans, how he’s longing to see them so that they may encourage one another. I feel like that is my prayer for my team and for Lima. “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.”

“Kutimnukichu?” means “will you come back?” And the big problem of my heart is that my world is now in two places. I have two sets of family and two sets of friends who are both asking “Kutimnukichu?”. I want the answer to be yes. I want the answer to be “Yes, I’m coming back to California” and “Yes, I’m coming back to Lima”. And simply the answer can be “yes” on both accounts but the more important question is “Will you stay?”… Unfortunately a tree doesn’t grow roots in two places.

It's the End of the World As We Know It

This week we said the first of our good-byes. After English class, one of our good friends comes up and says, “I need to say good-bye” and since it was time for everyone to be on their way, I didn’t think much of it. I said bye and before I went back to the conversation that I was immersed in, Martin said, “No… I need to say good-bye; I’m going to the highlands for two months.” We talked for a while and I know that God gave me the peace for the first of what will be many good-byes.

I leave Peru two weeks from tomorrow and my heart is in a bit of turmoil. How do I leave all of these people whom I have grown to love and who loved me from the day I got here? I have family here… I have a younger brother and an aunt and uncle among other “relatives”. I was thinking about how I wish I could stay longer… and I was thinking about how desperately I miss people from home… and I decided that it would be much easier if I didn’t love people so much in one of these places.

The world that has formed around my team and I for the past three months will soon be changing… dramatically. As we prepare to head back to North America and as we prepare to part ways from one another, we are being forced to take only lessons and memories as we leave this season behind. I think REM said it best, “It’s the end of the world as we know it”… but I’m not so sure that I feel fine.