Be Content Where You Are

I think I’ve finally reached a point where I’m ok with being here… I’ve been home for nearly two months. It partially feels like I’ve never left and it partially feels like I’m still a world away. But regardless, I’m in California for now.

I’ve told some stories and shared some photos but it’s impossible to encapsulate such an experience into a couple of hours over coffee. It’s not logical to sit down with someone and pour out everything that has happened.

As I go about my daily life, I am always digging a bit deeper back into Fresno. I have a job. I’m getting involved with a church. I have my own apartment. I’m getting ready to start my last year at FPU. A lot has changed but it’s time to jump back in, even though most days I’d like to be back in Peru.

Before I left North America, I was told that when God captures your heart for a country you will be able to weep for the nation and weep for its people. There are some moments when a Spanish song comes up when my ipod is on shuffle, or when a Peruvian photo scrolls across as my screensaver, or even just a memory that seemed to be forgotten comes back that I can’t help myself but cry.

Especially now the concept of life seasons becomes important. I know that the journey I just walked was not a simple one and I have seen the hand of God in the midst of everything. I pray that this journey isn’t finished. But right now I just need the patience and the contentedness to accept where I am.

Everything is in English.

I'm in North America.

I'm processing a lot.

I'll be home in less than a week.

Everything is in English here.

T Minues Two

48 more hours… Two more days. We’ve had our last English class. We’ve had our last night with the youth. We have one more church service.Tonight with the youth we got to celebrate: celebrate our time in Peru and the wonderful friends whom we have made. We sang, heard Jano speak, Lisa and I got to thank everyone for playing an amazing role in our lives, and then the pastoral staff called us all up and handed us each a bag to open. Inside we found a t-shirt that had our photo, a map of Peru and the words “Kutimnukichu?”. In that moment, I lost it… I started crying. But I had the opportunity to pray with some of my friends whom I’ve gotten to share life with over these past three and a half months. We celebrated, ate cake, watched soccer, and took pictures.

I have so many emotions going through my head and my heart, I’m not certain how to decipher them. I’m overwhelmed by the love and the warmth that we’ve been showed. We were all surprised that people brought us small gifts. I know I was surprised how many people showed p for our last night of youth. I don’t think that God ever ceases to surprise us with joyful things. When it was my turn to thank everyone I read Romans 1:8-13. It’s Paul’s prayer for the Romans, how he’s longing to see them so that they may encourage one another. I feel like that is my prayer for my team and for Lima. “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.”

“Kutimnukichu?” means “will you come back?” And the big problem of my heart is that my world is now in two places. I have two sets of family and two sets of friends who are both asking “Kutimnukichu?”. I want the answer to be yes. I want the answer to be “Yes, I’m coming back to California” and “Yes, I’m coming back to Lima”. And simply the answer can be “yes” on both accounts but the more important question is “Will you stay?”… Unfortunately a tree doesn’t grow roots in two places.

It's the End of the World As We Know It

This week we said the first of our good-byes. After English class, one of our good friends comes up and says, “I need to say good-bye” and since it was time for everyone to be on their way, I didn’t think much of it. I said bye and before I went back to the conversation that I was immersed in, Martin said, “No… I need to say good-bye; I’m going to the highlands for two months.” We talked for a while and I know that God gave me the peace for the first of what will be many good-byes.

I leave Peru two weeks from tomorrow and my heart is in a bit of turmoil. How do I leave all of these people whom I have grown to love and who loved me from the day I got here? I have family here… I have a younger brother and an aunt and uncle among other “relatives”. I was thinking about how I wish I could stay longer… and I was thinking about how desperately I miss people from home… and I decided that it would be much easier if I didn’t love people so much in one of these places.

The world that has formed around my team and I for the past three months will soon be changing… dramatically. As we prepare to head back to North America and as we prepare to part ways from one another, we are being forced to take only lessons and memories as we leave this season behind. I think REM said it best, “It’s the end of the world as we know it”… but I’m not so sure that I feel fine.

Insecto!

On our trip up north I became more than acquainted with too many six legged friends.

My first encounter was at about 4:30 in the morning after getting off an overnight bus ride to Piura. We piled too many people into taxies and were getting all of our luggage situated as we were getting ready to head to the church that was hosting us and fall back asleep. While the taxi was still parked at the curb and my purse was in my lap I felt a slight tickle on my arm, only to look down in the faint light to see a very large bug wandering around. Sarah and I fling the taxi door open and while she it swatting the bug off my purse and amongst our shrieks I’m shouting “INSECTO!” hoping to ease the confusion of the taxi driver. After removing the bug from the car we return to our 4:30am half-awake state as we drive to the church.

During out time in Piura we visited other churches in neighboring cities. I have never seen so many crickets as I have in Sullana. During our two days in that church we attended their prayer meeting. We were asked to introduce ourselves and when I sat back down in my chair Dave turns to me and says, “you just sat on a cricket.” I continually and adamantly tell him that I most certainly did not as I was terribly grossed out by the idea. When I got up for a second time a cricket fell on the floor and I was faced with the reality that I had really sat on the six legged critter. Not knowing what the next step of action should be I asked Dave to just kick the cricket away so I didn’t have to look at this seemingly dead insect for the rest of the service. He kicked it and it slid smoothly across the floor and stayed there until about half way through the meeting where it began to wiggle and then walk away as if nothing had happened.

After we had returned to Piura and the church that was hosting us there, we decided that we should go out for dinner. We found a quaint little open-air BBQ place. After we had been served and were enjoying a meal that looked a little more like home than some of the other foods we had been served, I look down and see something large and black on my pants. A two inch cockroach had landed on my pants. Trying my hardest not to make a scene in the restaurant I calmly stand up and in between repeating “insecto, insecto” I’m begging Otto to knock it off my pants because I’m too afraid to touch it. The bug fell from my thigh and the servers just watched as I’m trying to stay calm.

I Have a Dream

About a week ago we returned home to Lima after adventuring in the North of Peru. We stayed in two main cities and then worked with smaller churches in surrounding villages. We played with children, preformed our drama, shoveled sand, painted, carried bricks and prayed.

The first church that we stayed at was in the city of Trujillo. The city is about the size of Fresno and seemed fairly similar except for the mass amounts of speed bumps. We were welcomed with the normal Peruvian warmth and hospitality. This church is going through change… both positive and negative. As the North American missionaries are preparing to return to Canada, a lot has taken place to place the church entirely into the hands of the Peruvians. They have recently hired their senior pastor and the Sunday that we were there we witnessed the installation of their very first deacons, ushers, and associate pastor. They are also in the midst of building and expanding their beautiful facility. But during this building process someone broke in and stole all of their instruments. For a while they felt as though music had been taken away from them but they are plowing ahead with an acoustic guitar, tambourine, and voices.

But the part of this visit that really touched me was getting to know the pastor, Sergio. He spent our entire visit with us… everything from cleaning to hanging out at the beach. One afternoon we helped him put together bookshelves in what will soon be a seminary in his backyard. There is a beautiful three story building that will soon be an institute of higher learning. He gave us the grand tour of this empty building but as we walked from room to room I saw the light of God in his eyes. I couldn’t help but be reminded what it looks like to dream huge dreams with God. He has a vision of everything that will fill his seminary… as we were about to finish the tour I realized there was one more door that we had not entered, and I figured someone was behind it because most rooms just have doorframes and northing else. When I asked where the door lead, his eyes light up just a little bit brighter as he proceeded to tell me this was his favorite part: the prayer chapel on the room. I walked up another flight of stairs only to see a flat cement roof, but Sergio saw so much more. He described in great detail what everything would be, what it would look like and I couldn’t help but be captured in the beauty of his dream.

This was also the day that, as Sarah says, my Spanish blossomed. All of the conversations that I was having with Sergio were entirely in Spanish. Commonly I didn’t have the words that I wanted but he was patient with my need to play charades for some words and even affirmed me and said that my words were very clear and he could easily understand me. As Sergio and I talked more and more about the seminary and my own schooling, he mentioned that someday I should come back and teach. The idea of moving to another continent and teaching is something that seems beyond me… but most God dreams are.

Not to say that I’m ready and willing to completely plant myself in Peru for an extended period of time, but I’m definitely not afraid to dream. Sometimes it’s so easy to accept the status quo and forget what it looks like to dream like God dreams for us and I’m glad I got the reminder to constantly seek out dreams that seems bigger than I am.

Culturally Unsensitive

The other day I had quite possibly my most culturally unsensitive moment. We were getting ready to get on a bus to visit the church in Sullana and when the bus driver opens the bottom luggage compartment so that people could get their stuff off a man walks up and grabs four live turkeys off the bottom of the bus... he holds two in each hand, by the feet and carries them off like it´s no big deal. I could help but laugh out loud and openly stare at this spectical... that would never happen at home. But to make matters even funnier this man then proceeded to catch a small motor taxi and shove all four wing flapping birds inside. Honestly, if my camera had been handy, I would have taken a picture. I love Peru.